Chapter 53 Zihui’s special
Among the morning mist, under the wisterias, a woman in green clothes motionlessly let the wisteria fell on her. She smiled quietly.
“Who are you?”
“My name is Jin Luo and who are you?”
Every night, the little monk will suddenly open his eyes. An empty look.
The bright moonlight spilled through the window into the room, making the little monk’s face seem a little pale. He rolled over and shrunk in the quilt. It’s that dream again. It’s that girl again. Every time he woke up, he would not be able to remember her name or her appearance. But in his heart there’s always an inexplicable familiar feeling as if he knew her.
“Well……Wu Nian1, did you dream again,” the senior sleeping in the same bed as him asked. “Don’t pull my quilt.”
Wu Nian muffled: “Sorry, senior.”
He has a dreaming illness. He can’t sleep well. Sometimes, he’ll wake up while shouting. His family thought he was possessed. Since his childhood, they took him to temple on the mountain to let him live there.
Every day after reciting the dharma, his illness will get a lot better. But occasionally, he’ll still wake up at night and can’t remember the things he dreamed off. Just his heart will feel empty.
Early in the morning, after the morning classes finished, Fang Zhang called Wu Nian away. He commanded Wu Nian to go live at the back mountain and to help the elderly monk take care of the back mountain. Wu Nian nicely complied and in the afternoon, he picked up his things and went to the back mountain.
Outside of the house on the back mountain, there’s a huge wisteria tree. No one knows which predecessor planted it. Kong Dao monk is already old and couldn’t do many things anymore. All the things that needed to be done to take care of the back mountain have been handed over to Wu Nian.
Wu Nian got this job, but he didn’t work as sincere and good as before. Always lost in thoughts while looking at the wisterias. For this reason, he doesn’t know how many slaps he has suffered.
Year after years, he observed the wisterias blooming and falling. Unconsciously ten years has passed. Kong Dao monk passed away. He now lives alone at the back mountain. He slowly became from a little monk to a big monk.
That day, the wind was breezing and it was sunny. The wisterias were just blooming. A string of flowers poured down like waterfall. In the sunlight, it turned the yard in a dream like purple.
As usual, Wu Nian was holding a broom and looking up at the wisterias in blankly absence. Suddenly he heard a girl’s stunning praise: “What beautiful wisterias!”
Wu Nian turned around to look. A girl dressed in light yellow skirts walked from that side of the mountain and stood not far away from the wisteria tree. She looked up at the wisteria and forgot to close her mouth in amazement. The girl stood for a long moment before she saw Wu Nian at the side. She was shocked again and exclaimed: “What a beautiful monk!”
Wu Nian lowered his eyes, turned and began to slowly cleaning.
That girl covered her mouth and seemed to know that those words were somewhat out of line. She blushed and rushed to explain: “Sorry, sorry, dashi2, , don’t mind me. I didn’t want to offend you…..I just have a loose tongue.”
Since the other party has said that, Wu Nian thought it wouldn’t be good to fuss over it anymore. He bowed and said: “Emituofo3, shizu4, help yourself.
The girl scratched her head while smiling: “It’s good if you just don’t blame for being out of line.”
The girl’s words hardly left, suddenly Fang Zhang came from the small road.
“Nushizu (female version of shizu) walks too fast. It’s difficult for this old monk to catch up.”
The girl stuck her tongue out. Fang Zhang turned to look at Wu Nian and commanded: “It’s good that Wu Nian is also here. This is the Miss from Shi fu down the mountain. Her body isn’t well. She needs to come live in the mountains for some days. The back mountain is a quiet place. In the future, Wu Nian, take care of Miss Shi.”
Wu Nian hesitated. He didn’t even find ground for refusal when he heard the girl’s hearty chuckle: “Wu Nian dashi, this little girl, Shi Qian, will be in dashi’s care.”
Wu Nian opened his mouth, but didn’t know what to say.
After Shi Qian came to live at the back mountain, the time of Wu Nian staring in daze at the wisteria tree has become less and less. This girl who has a straightforward temperament and who loves to laugh is always in some kind of situation that made him helpless. Always saying many things that made him speechless. Always doing a lot of things that made him didn’t know if he should cry or laugh.
Every day, she can make the quiet back mountain into a very noisy place. At day time, Wu Nian is endless fatigue. At night, the moment he touch the pillow and closes his eyes, he’ll immediately fall asleep. There is no time to dream about that dream.
Day after day, he became accustomed to the noisy Shi Qian beside him. When looking at her, he no longer can see something else.
The wisteria bloomed a lifetime beside them. One day, Shi Qian has been taken down the mountain by the people of her fu to celebrate her father’s birthday.
In Wu Nian’s eyes he can finally look at the waterfall of the wisterias.
On a day where the sky is blue, his mind suddenly flashed a scene. A green dressed girl standing below the wisteria tree, looking at them motionlessly. Her side profile is so beautiful, making people afraid to touch it.
“My name is Jin Luo……”
She spoke softly and then lowered her eyes. On her lips hung a smile, but her eyes seemed to be about to shed tears.
“Do you still remember me……”
A breeze blew. The wisteria petals fell on the ground. Wu Nian’s spirits suddenly returned. His cheeks are wet.
Wu Nian was a little startled. His fingertips touched the droplets sliding down from his eyes. Why did his tears fall?
That night, Shi Qian didn’t return to the mountain. Wu Nian carried a bit of worry and slowly fell asleep.
He dreamed again of that long absent dream. The emotions of the green dressed girl in his dream seemed so real in his mind. The temperature of her palm, the taste of her lips, her beautiful features. She called over and over again the name “Zihui5”. Over and over, she said: “I’ll wait for you.”
He saw her in a room made of stone, waiting for a whole lifetime. He felt that this woman is important to him. Maybe even the most important…….
But when he woke up, only Shi Qian was sitting at his bedside. Her eyes are red from crying. And Wu Nian can no longer remember the longing of that dream.
He raised his hand and touched Shi Qian’s head. He felt heartache for her distress.
“What’s the matter?”
His voice hid the affection he felt for Shi Qian.
“I……yesterday, I returned to Shi fu. My father said……”
Shi Qian couldn’t stop her tears from falling down.
“My father said, he promised me to a family. He…..wants me to marry.”
Wu Nian was startled. Shi Qian looked like she couldn’t hold it anymore and rushed forward. She clung to Wu Nian’s neck.
“I like you! I only like Wu Nian! I don’t want to marry someone else! I only like you!”
Outside the house, the shadow of the wisterias shook. His ears seemed to be invaded by the words of another woman. That person said: “Zihui, I Iike you.”
She said: “Zihui, let’s get married, alright?”
She said: “In the future, I’ll always be by your side. I’ll be your wife.”
At this moment, he suddenly has the urge to push Shi Qian away. Suddenly, he felt a sense of guilt winding in his heart. Suddenly he remembered……has he forgotten a very important matter?
Shi Qian didn’t get Wu Nian’s comfort. She let go of him. Somewhat afraid, she looked at him: “Wu Nian…..are you angry? I know you’re a monk, but so many days, I thought you…..”
Her voice got smaller and carried grievances that can’t be said: “I thought you also like me.”
This sentence let Wu Nian’s spirit return. He looked at Shi Qian’s face full of grievances. Those inexplicable thoughts and those memories that never existed dissipated like smoke. What is left is only this time. Shi Qian accompanying him every day. The warmth and love that he is afraid to broach.
Wu Nian blinked, pondered for a while and smiled helplessly: “I think, I also like you.”
Shi Qian’s eyes lit up.
In a year’s time, being together from morning till night. Shi Qian is originally a girl that will let people like her. Wu Nian is really Wu Nian (without longing). Finally, he also has longing now.
He sighed: “Then, should we prepare to run away?”
He thought that this woman is worth to give up everything to protect her.
Shi Qian stared at him blankly and immediately nodded.
While carrying a luggage, Wu Nian held Shi Qian’s hand and walked down the small road to go down the mountain. Before leaving, Wu Nian turned back and looked. Between his trances, he seemed to see a green dressed girl standing under the wisteria tree. She looked at him. There was a mild bitter curvature on her lips.
Wu Nian’s steps stopped. He saw her lips moved. She seemed to say: “Goodbye, forever6.”
He was a little startled. His heart felt an inexplicable pain.
In a blink of eye, a big breeze blew. Wisteria petals flew in the sky.
Shi Qian turned around and looked confused at Wu Nian: “Wu Nian?”
Wu Nian stared blankly for a while. Then he shook his head and continued to walk down. He said: “When we’re down the mountain, help me make a name. I can no longer be called Wu Nian.”
Shi Qian winked, pondered for a while and suddenly laughed: “Oh, does that mean that in your heart you have me? Are you saying that you’re not able to be alone anymore? This is really nice! Don’t worry, when we’re down the mountain, I’ll give you a nice name…..”
Wu Nian smiled stiffly. He doesn’t know how to deny.
Perhaps the yearning in the depth of his soul is no match for the warm friendship that accompanied him every day. Just like that mortals are no match for the emptiness of the heart. Who would not choose a haven that’ll make him feel warm in time of weakness?
Even if…..that’s not the place where he originally wanted to go.
No matter how unfeeling or how without longing he is, after all he is just a mortal.
Footsteps slowly mixed in the crowd. A breeze passed by, leaving only ruined flowers to bring the next year.
Author has something to say: I really thought a long time about this special chapter……because I really didn’t want to write the past story of Zihui and Jin Luo (because I think, I’ll write it really bad). So I wrote such a story. In fact, this story has been compared to Lu Hai Kong’s story. I asked a sister before making a decision. Lu Hai Kong is too pure and too clean, like someone from a dream. That’s right, for girls Lu Hai Kong is a dream. And this story of Zihui is more of a realistic portrayal. He’ll forget that person of his past. Then he’ll start a new life. It’s not to say how fickle Zihui’s feelings are, but it’s that everyone has a weak moments and selfishness. Why not choose a better life for oneself? Women are like that. Men should also be like that. Maybe putting the past down is the most difficult choice.
In addition this story also wants to tell a truth that a Jiu’s mom told a Jiu: “When he likes you, he really liked you. When he likes someone else, he also really likes that person.”
Personally I think, people are probably like that. Eating what’s inside the bowl, watching what’s inside the pot……
Finally, everyone, don’t take this story too seriously ==
When I read that this story is about Zihui, I thought that it’ll tell the story of Zihui and Jin Luo. How they meet and how they fell in love, but it turned out to be a story after their soul scattered
Zihui and Jin Luo were never meant to be. Even if Wu Nian remembers Jin Luo, they can’t be together in real life. . Zihui can reincarnate life after life again, but Jin Luo’s soul ceased to exist. They can only meet in their dreams. Can’t blame Wu Nian for choosing a real person. But I still feel sad for them.
The side stories are not what I expected. I hope that the next story will be more happy. The next ss is called CK and XXZ special: Happy life?
- 無念 (Wúniàn): free of thoughts/ no longing. His name means that he doesn’t have anything he wants to remember.
- 大師(dàshī): master/ great master. Usually used to call monks and leaders of a sect.
- 阿彌陀佛(Ēmítuófó): may the lord Buddha preserve us.
- 施主(Shīzhǔ): designation of a person by a monk
- 紫輝(Zǐ huī): Zihui’s name means shining purple or bright purple.
- What she said is 後會無期 (hòuhuìwúqī): meeting postponed indefinitely/ to meet again at unspecified date. Most of the time people will say 後會有期 (hòuhuìyǒuqī): hope to see you again/ I’m sure we’ll meet again some day. Jin Luo said to meet again at an unspecified date meaning that they’ll never meet again.