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*Please be aware that this chapter contains NSFW. 

Chapter 45 (Part 2) Original and most updated translations are from volaretranslations.


The corners of his lips twitched up into something like a smile. “You’re already Zhen’s woman, what else could Zhen do?”


Ahhhh, but didn’t I lose my memories?

He lowered the bed curtains around us.

I couldn’t resign myself to sitting on the bed, but reached out to jerk the bed curtains aside, only to hear him say, “It’s chaotic in the outside world, so Zhen will protect you.”

Before I could recovered from my surprise, he had already caught my hand. His other hand brushed open my outer robes to dig inside until they felt my shoulder bones, bringing with it a surprising chill. His large hands were like cocoons, and wherever he touched, my skin seem to turn numb and heated…

Zhen knows why he doesn’t like this outfit,” he bent over, his heavy voice mixing with his breaths by my side. His lips parted to close around my ears as he hummed, and my mind seemed to burst. Soft and warm, the tactile impressions left by his sucking felt like tiny ants itching across my skin.

“It’s too much trouble to take off, which Zhen doesn’t like.”

This was brazenly taking liberties. I felt unusually indignant and terribly shy, but there was no place to hide. I could only say without any hint of force, “Let go already.”

The effect was just a little shy of an ant snorting.

Zhen won’t let go. You should know…”  A faint hint of a smile could be found in his words as he regarded me warmly, long fingers brushing against my cheeks. “My thoughts of you grow deeper day after day.”

I was a little dumbfounded. He smiled and held me tighter.

The bed curtains were all down and the light was hazy. It was a little hard to breathe with him crushing me. I could faintly hear the sound of his pendants moving, as if he were taking off his robes. My mind was in a heavy daze when I raised my head to grab the curtains…at least to get a breath of fresh air.

He bent over and tightly gripped my wrist, not letting me go. His expression was filled with the energy of an easy victory, the aura every inch an emperor…but to use it here… This person, how could he do such a thing?

He raised so many male concubines in the palace without accepting a single female. He should like men, so he shouldn’t be able to act like this with me. But the truth was far from reality.

“What are you thinking about…why don’t you speak?” his hands dug in my robes and held me, fingers lightly rubbing against my skin. “…is it ticklish? Don’t hide yourself away…”

Tears, why was he so interested in women? Can anyone tell me the reason? I took a breath and covered myself, turning my head away while I shot him a hazy look. I felt exceedingly puzzled and wronged.

“Y…y-you…this is…”

His face was half wreathed in light, half in shadow, making his features hard to discern. I could only see the area from his nose to his chin, clean, and resolute like a proper man, making it hard for people to look away. His hand was pressed on my shoulders.

“Right now, your heart has no one else in it but me.” When he spoke to himself, I could tell…that something was putting him ill at ease.

He slowly lowered his body, the remaining materials of his clothing itching my skin. Against my exposed back, he left a trail of increasing frentic kisses that were somehow filled with sorrow. When he released my hand, I took the chance to grab the bed curtains.

The dim lighting seemed to daze and confuse a person.

His messy hair draped down as he reached out to hold me, the light casting his shadow in sharp relief against the curtains. An arm wrapped around my belly and waist as he slowly tightened his grip to embrace me. In the dark, I could feel his finger brushing across my forehead and face…the movements soft and gentle, but without any warmth.

He said, ‘Shao’er, you’re still as beautiful as before…no, even more beautiful.’

He said, ‘You’re Zhen’s woman.’

His words left me at a loss…and I forgot to resist, as if everything happening was a natural course of events. Those familiar, warm lips pressed against mine. He had the kind of sweeping forehead to drive a person to depravity, and the singular scent of a man as he embraced me intimately, and yet at this moment…

He lowered his head and spoke in a low voice, “What are you secretly giggling about?”

“Don’t you like men?”

Abruptly, he raised his head, eyes widening minutely as they stared at me with a handsome yet gentle gaze. From that…I realized I was wrong. It was too late to crawl away now, tears…

Chaos fell upon the darkness.

When I came to my senses, I was directly in contact with his slender yet sturdy bare waist. He held onto my head, staring at me like he was going to ravage me that innate air of sovereignty now almost so potent that it threatened to suffocate me. My body softened like a puddle of water, but I still tried to crawl and resist.

He bent my knee and held onto my thigh, gentle caressing it to turn them soft and powerless. Then, he grabbed my shoulders and shifted my body over. With a hand on my head he looked at me, getting an eyeful.

Longing shone from his eyes.

“Shao’er…” he called out gently with warm breaths against my ear, thin lips touching my breasts, a little scalding. It was as if he wanted to suck me into his body.

Suddenly, I couldn’t hold back a moan. He bent forward to embrace me tightly in his arms, and that hot metal rod squeezed into that soft and tender point between my thighs. I could sense a searing heat that made me feel especiallyhelpless. His head moved closer and gently sniffed my neck. He seemed to be saying something, but I couldn’t hear it clearly.

He moved his waist forward a little more, and I felt as though my body was being pulled apart. This feeling of slowly being filled could even be called…too painful. Having difficulty enduring, I tightly gripped onto the bedsheets.

Fortunately, he quickly dodged before I bit him.


He looked to be enduring patiently and there was a layer of sweat on his resolute face, yet he didn’t forget to stroke my hair with his hand and wipe away my sweat. Right as I relaxed, he held onto my body from both sides and fiercely thrust into me without any hesitation. My twisted face could be described as pained.

Hesitating, he gazed at me in astonishment before the look in his eyes became joy, then amazement.

Was anything wrong? Yet I was so dazed I couldn’t figure out what it could be. I wasn’t used to the sudden, severe pain that had suddenly appeared. He held me tightly and spoke in a cold voice without warmth, “I won’t lose you again…”

Although the tone was flat, I knew…his heart was flustered and trembling. My blankness deepened as my mind grew empty. Within the dim bed curtains, all I remembered was his nimble fingers. I’d neglected any other matters of importance.

His body rocked slightly as he inched forwards, as if wanting to bury himself in my deepest parts…until we became one. My body followed that rough, coarse sensation until his movements swept me away wave after wave, releasing intoxicating, surging torrents.

The colorful flowers on the bed curtains seemed to deepen…

My eyes opened wide, and I felt a little lost. He was slow and steady one moment, fierce, and furious the next. The torment he caused me made it hard to breathe. His own breaths made me feel dizzy. My train of thoughts grew more and more distant until they blurred. I could only recall the last thing he said…

Now, there won’t be anyone to fight with me. You belong to me, and me alone.

With this, the things that were supposed to happened had occurred. The ambiguous odors of the aftermath lingered within the bed curtains long after it was over. I opened my eyes and looked up towards the hazy yellow curtains. The light that shone through blended together the flowers on the fabric, while the air was still filled with that ambiguous scent.

I shifted a bit, but his hand on my waist prevented me from getting up. Instead, he turned over and held me in place with his body, childishly burying his face between my shoulder blades. I gave him a lazy glance. He tilted his head to look at my body, not a hint of drowsiness in his eyes.

I couldn’t bear it anymore and tugged on the bedcovers, turning over my body to look at him. “Didn’t you say…that I was your woman for a long while now…?”

So, then why was there blood on the sheets? My fingers found the spot and brushed over it.

He kept me company with his smile and scooped me into an embrace, a bright voice speaking clearly into my ear. He sounded like he was in excellent spirits. “How did I know that you were only playing house with your little friends?”

The gladness in his voice was all too evident, and his smile was boundlessly gentle and soft. His gaze on me only increased in feelings and affection. But…why didn’t I understand?

What ‘little friends?’

“It’s getting late, don’t go off into flights of fancy. Sleep.” He helped to tuck me in.

How could I sleep?

As the saying goes, a monarch makes no joking remarks. But I had no way to understand most of what he said, nor could I tell the truth from the lies, even if I guessed. I turned my head to look at him, that eminently handsome face illuminated by the dim, hazy light. Despite everything…maybe he truly loved me. He always treated me well, and his movements and expressions shouldn’t be fake. But still, what was the story behind the male concubine in the Cold Palace…?

He grasped the hand I’d rested on his forehead, speaking lightly. “Actually, I should have told you earlier. After the previous emperor died, General Qi assumed control of the military powers and gained great influence in the court. But he was still unsatisfied and tried every way possible to send woman into the imperial harem. If his daughter can become the empress, then he’ll feel like he has nothing to fear before Zhen.

…these years, Zhen’s beat him at his own game by liking men and raising male concubines, but I didn’t expect that old thing to…”

These were all affairs of the court, so why was he telling me?

He stopped, gentle eyes trailing down to see my damp hair with a small smile. He drew my chin closer with a shady look and dropped me a kiss. “Now, that he knows of your existence, I doubt he’ll leave the matter at that… Stay carefully by my side and don’t go anywhere, all right…?”

By now, I was getting quite sleepy and lifted my eyes with effort. He smiled lightly and held me tight, before attacking my drowsy self. But truthfully speaking, it really was nice and warm when he held me…

Even though everything was soft and sweet, why…did I still feel this was all very bizarre…?

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  • What a hateful asshole

  • I re-read this chapter and realized that Han Zichuan might actually good in bed. There is a lot of hints saying she starting blanking out as soon as he touched her.

  • So in this situation, no one wins. Han Zichuan doesn’t really get Shao’s heart, Shao doesn’t have the man she really wants, Fang Hua can’t have Shao though he does have her heart, and the Princes were used as replacement Fang Huas. *sigh* This story deserves a sort of tragedy tag. (But it’s still so good). Thanks for the chapter Ruyi!

  • I don’t like that zichuan used her amnesia to make her ‘his’, and I know many of you guys don’t like him, but am I the only one who actually pities him? Yes, this was underhanded, but he actually treated her in a very special manner. Only, his affections were not only returned, but never understood either ’cause even if he says it straight to her face she wouldnt understand. Afterall, her eyes, from the start, only sees yifu. Yifu, shao’er, zichuan, the seven princes all cannot obtain what their heart truly wants.

    In fact, I remember back then, wasn’t it mentioned that a fang hua beast can never obtains their’s hearts desire. So maybe, this hints to Fang Hua finding Shao’er too late and realizing his feelings? Sigh. I just feel sad for all of them. Neverthless, I am thoroughly addicted to this story.

  • Anyone else think he drugged her?

  • Anyone else think he drugged her? I mean she shouldn’t have lost it like that… isn’t she a Martial Artist?

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! If only he’s not the emperor, the seven princes would have make him suffer a painful death!

  • Nuooooooo……Shao Er why did u sleep with him(cryyyyyy).That’s it,I’m going to kidnap Fang Hua and not going to return him to u.Thanks for the translation Ru Yi…

  • Premonition


  • Wait a minute? Does this mean he’s Bi? I mean he was in possible tachi position when he was drinking with Fang Hua. Then he goes and eats Shao’ers tofu…

  • Let me die today.. huwaa..han zichuan real villain. I want to curse! Orz

  • NOOOOOO 🙁 There is no chance of her going back to Fang Hua is there? D:

    • Ruyi

      Hope springs eternal, a wise man once said.

  • … no….. ;-; …. Shao’er you dumb…. it feels like any men that was handsome and forceful with a hint of care could get through her easy…… pheromones are terrific…. I thought he was a bit likeable in the beginning, I know he was lonely and a beautiful innocent girl could turn him around, I know he loves Shao’er a lot, but it just feels wrong……. to go through like that….. it feels like he is pushing Shao’er and Fang Hua into a abyss….. what now Shao’er? What will you do especially after regaining your memories? Will you be truly carefree or will you be jailed for the rest of your life? Thanks for the translation……..

  • HE ATE HER TOFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!