CE Chapter 35



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Chapter 35 The Four Big Bandits

“Well, it seems that your friend was wrong. What should we do now?” Meng Xue blinked, and looked at Zhao Lingjun with a sparkle in her eye. “It’s evident that there isn’t an ancient language research association here, and you can’t help your friend now. How about you take me to your dormitory to see that cat of yours?” Meng Xue urged Zhao Lingjun.

“Since there is an ancient relic research association, perhaps there would be someone who knows about ancient writings.” Zhao Lingjun felt slightly uneasy as he rejected Meng Xue’s enticing proposal outright.

However, Meng Xue didn’t flare up, instead smiled, and turned around towards the door, “Sure, let’s go and see whether this ancient relic research association has some weirdo who studies ancient writings.”

  * * *

“Robbery! Robbery! Males stand on the left, females on the right and transsexuals in the middle.”

As they were about to enter the association to try their luck, a loud bellow echoed through the marketplace.

When they turned to look, they noticed the four comedians from before. However, on their heads were long silky stockings, obscuring their facial features. In their hands were black guns of varying lengths and sizes, with a fiendish aura emanating from the four of them.

The bustling plaza immediately plunged into a deathlike silence, as if everyone had been petrified in a split second. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared blankly at the four in long silky stockings.

The hushed atmosphere was broken by a roar of laughter.

Zhao Lingjun and Meng Xue looked towards each other and laughed. How could it be possible for someone to rob a bustling bazaar in broad daylight?

They both wanted to go up to the four jokers and ask if their boss had ordered them to perform a comical skit to liven up the atmosphere.

Before they could go up to ask, someone had already went up on their behalf.

“Haha, who got you guys to perform a skit here? Have those stockings on your heads been used by girls? Or are they new?” The one who went up to ask was the middle aged man minding the stall, whom Meng Xue had just asked about the ancient language research association.

The stall owner seemed to be delighted at the sight of the tall, short, fat, and thin foursome. As he asked, he even walked up to the fatty with the intention to touch and see if the gun he was holding was real.

“Haha.” The crowd of onlookers erupted in laughter, returning liveliness back to the plaza.

“Haha.” The fat man joined in the laughter, but didn’t reply to the middle aged man’s question. However, he also didn’t prevent the man from touching the gun in his hand.

“This prop gun of yours looks so real.” The middle aged man commented as he touched the gun, feeling a little strange.

“Really?” the fat man laughed as he replied. He suddenly ripped the gun out of the man’s hand, aimed at his thigh and squeezed the trigger.

“Yup, did you buy it?… Ah!……”

Before the middle aged man could finish his sentence, the crowd heard a ‘bang’ explode from the fat man’s gun. The middle aged man staggered back and fell down like his leg was slammed by a gigantic hammer. As the man was falling, a fountain of fresh red blood splurted out of his thigh.

The middle aged man only had time to shriek like a dying pig, unable to even try and stop his thigh from bleeding before he passed out.

Everyone in the plaza, including Zhao Lingjun and Meng Xue, were stunned.

“Heihei. Who still wants to test if our guns are real?” The fat man with a stocking around his head was still smiling like a Maitreya. But at this moment, no one felt that the four of them looked funny anymore.

After a few seconds, a few ladies let out shrill screams, which weren’t inferior in any aspect to Hao Meili’s from that day at the sewer.

Those still dazed were immediately snapped back to reality by those shrill screams.

Zhao Lingjun and Meng Xue both had a thought flash through their heads, “To think that these few men were actually robbers.” The whole of 7th Street exploded into noise and movement, engulfing it in chaos.

After the ear-piercing screams, several women started wailing and screeching like the siren of fire trucks as they ran towards the exit of 7th Street.

Awoken by the shrill screams, many people held a notion of calling the police, but before they could reach for their phones, a series of muffled bangs echoed.

The sound was like someone dribbling a basketball above your apartment at night, deep and powerful.

As Zhao Lingjun heard the sound, he saw a fountain of blood spray out from the backs of the few women who were running towards the exit. Like a kite whose thread was cut, the women fell forward and ceased to breathe.

An icy feeling gripped Zhao Lingjun, as if a bucket of ice cold water had just been poured over him. As he turned to look at the foursome, the thin man beside the fat man was lowering a bizarrely shaped gun with an attached scope, coldly staring at the motionless women on the floor. It was like he wasn’t looking at humans, but rather at insects.

A deathly silence descended. A few timid people immediately had their legs turn into jelly and fell to the ground; some even fainted on the spot.

“My personal record is hitting three moving objects in a second. In addition, I don’t leave anyone alive if I shoot them with my gun,” the thin man said emotionlessly towards the crowd, “If you don’t believe me, feel free to try me.”

Before his grand proclamation, many people had already taken out their phones, ready to call the police on the sly. But when they heard him, they immediately stopped in their tracks, not daring to even move an inch.

Although the four were dressed up like jokers, right now, nobody dared to question whether their words were genuine or not.

The scent of fresh blood drifting through the air and the unmoving bodies of the women not far from the exit of 7th Street were the best answer to prove their authenticity.

Zhao Lingjun and Meng Xue were frozen in place; their minds a complete blank.

“Even the most aggressive criminals on television aren’t as cruel as these four.” Everyone was haunted by this thought.

“Let me repeat myself once more, men on our left, women on our right. Last but not least, transsexuals in the middle.” The fatty said as he still kept his amiable and friendly expression from before. It was almost as if he was courteously asking everyone.

Immediately after the fatty finished speaking, everyone started moving briskly.

Before Zhao Lingjun and Meng Xue came back to their senses, the crowd was already split into three neat rows.

Other than the two of them, all the men were already on the fat man’s left, and the women on his right.

“Oh? So it’s you, bro.”[1] The fatty was puzzled why there were people who didn’t move, but after taking a good look at them, he immediately recognized Zhao Lingjun and Meng Xue.

The fatty smiled amiably at Zhao Lingjun, but Zhao Lingjun felt a shiver crawl up his spine and immediately tugged on Meng Xue, pulling her behind him.


[1] bro – The Chinese word doesn’t exactly mean bro, but there isn’t a good English word for it either. It has the nuance of ‘person from my hometown’, and so I’m going to use ‘bro’ italicised whenever this is used. ↩


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