CE Chapter 30

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Chapter 30 Immortal Cat Hero

As he lay on his bed, Zhao Lingjun felt slightly relieved, but his gloomy mood soon returned as he remembered how empty his wallet was.

Zhao Lingjun would normally take a bus back to the apartment complex, but today he had given in to the impulse and flagged a taxi and returned by car. When it was time to pay the fare, he realised that his pay for the past two days had just vanished with the driver.

During university, he had taken an elective psychology class because the teacher was hot.

One of his hot teacher’s lessons to alleviate depression was to lie down, close your eyes, and imagine yourself on a sunny beach and fall asleep

But when Zhao Lingjun closed his eyes, what came to mind wasn’t sand and sun, but Lin Qianxun and Wu Xiaoye.

When he thought of Lin Qianxun in her doctor’s garb, cradling the cat, Zhao Lingjun’s heart rate soared and his mouth went dry. On the other hand, when he thought of Wu Xiaoye, he felt chills all over, and desperately wanted to crawl out of bed and slap his mouth and write “I am contemporary’s Chen Shimei”[1] a hundred times.

After the images repeated endlessly in his head, Zhao Lingjun grew increasingly miserable until he could stand it no longer, wanting to commit suicide.

Therefore, Zhao Lingjun chose to get up and pour himself a glass of ice cold water, to calm his disturbed and agitated state of mind.

However when he opened his eyes, he got the shock of his life.

Two blue eyes were centimeters away from his own, swiveling.

* * *

“What the f*ck!” Frightened, he immediately sat upright on his bed, but in his hurry he forgot and accidentally shifted his weight onto the buttock that had been injected. Grimacing in pain, he took a deep breath then depressingly spoke to the white cat inches away from him, “Why did you silently get on my bed, do you want to frighten me?”

*Meow* The white cat blinked at Zhao Lingjun with an expression of being wronged and leapt off the bed.

Noticing the black on its tail as it leapt off, Zhao Lingjun once again felt pity for the abandoned cat.

Feeling sympathy for it, he proceeded to embrace the cat in a hug.

*Meow*

The white cat was surprised when Zhao Lingjun shot up from his bed, but when it was embraced, it rubbed itself happily against him.

“Hehe.” Zhao Lingjun chuckled as he was tickled by the cat burrowing into his arms. “Little guy, why are you so adorable? Those who said you would bring disaster are really lacking in foresight.

After laughing, his mood improved by leaps and bounds. As he looked into the cat’s blue eyes that were carefully observing him, he suddenly remembered an extremely important matter.

In the blink of an eye, he retrieved the glass bottle from his bag.

In the glass bottle, the three remaining blue pills were quietly sitting at the bottom.

“You’re really able to understand me?”

Zhao Lingjun eyes darted back and forth between the glass bottle and the white cat in his embrace.

As soon as he finished asking, the cat vigorously nodded a few times.

At this moment Zhao Lingjun chuckled, he found that a cat vigorously nodding was really too funny.

“It seems that these blue pills are more miraculous than viagra.” After chuckling, Zhao Lingjun thought of how people would immediately make a phone call to a mental hospital if he had told them that the pills in his hand could make a cat understand humans. Not to mention telling them that it granted the cat an overwhelming strength like Li Xiaolong.

Thinking of the cat’s display after it ate the pill, Zhao Lingjun couldn’t help but give a sweeping glance over his bedroom.

Finally, his gaze stopped on two dumbbells beside his desk.

“Since you understand me, could you help me fetch those two dumbbells?” Zhao Lingjun nodded towards the dumbbells and said to the cat in his arms.

* * *

At some point or another, a male would have fantasized about becoming as buff and muscular as Arnold Schwarzenegger. Just after Zhao Lingjun graduated, he too had once dreamed of having muscles that made cute girls drool when he took off his shirt.

Therefore these two dumbbells had been part of his life for a long period of time.

But he realized that dreams were merely dreams, and if dreams were easily achieved, they wouldn’t be called dreams. So, Zhao Lingjun worked out less and less with the two dumbbells.

Therefore on the surface of the dumbbells, a thick layer of dust had settled on it.

Although it had been a long time since he used them, but he could remember their weight clearly. The two dumbbells were bought in order for Zhao Lingjun to train into the muscle man of his dreams, and they each weighed 15kg.

When the white cat jumped out of his bosom, Zhao Lingjun guessed that it could at most carry a few pounds.

However, Zhao Lingjun was astonished to the point where his eyeballs were almost popping out of their sockets. The small cat had only nudged the two dumbbells lightly, but miraculously, they had rolled over to his feet.

“What strength!” He gaped at the scene before him. The original spot where the two dumbbells sat had large indents in the floorboards. In disbelief, Zhao Lingjun took a deep breath.

After a long while, Zhao Lingjun finally regained his senses.

“Can you push heavier objects?” Seeing how easy it was for the cat to push the dumbbells over, Zhao Lingjun asked the cat.

The cat immediately nodded, and before Zhao Lingjun figured out what it was doing, it had already ran to the wardrobe in his bedroom.

*Creaaaaaaak* Before Zhao Lingjun could realise what it was doing, he heard a grimace inducing sound.

He then saw his wardrobe start to move slowly.

His eyes widened in disbelief, and he almost fainted.

Although the wardrobe had been in his room since he had moved in, Zhao Lingjun knew first hand how heavy it was.

Because when he had just moved in, he had an idea of decorating his house and wanted to move the gigantic wardrobe to another spot. However, even after expending all his strength, it wouldn’t even budge an inch.

But right now, a wardrobe that a young and able bodied man was unable to move was being pushed around by a small cat.

Is this even a cat? Is this not a super saiyan cat?

Just as he thought this, he heard another creak that suddenly changed to a crisp Kacha.

After which the cat stood petrified, not moving an inch.

“What’s wrong?” Seeing the cat suddenly stop, Zhao Lingjun asked nervously. He thought that the cat had overexerted and strained its muscles.

A few minutes later, Zhao Lingjun saw the cat embarrassedly slide its paw off the cabinet slowly.
 [TL: Psst may not be clear, but cat switched from pushing wardrobe to a cabinet]

After its paw was off the cabinet, Zhao Lingjun noticed an additional two dark holes in it.

Zhao Lingjun was flabbergasted.

Only when the cat embarrassedly leaped back onto his lap, did Zhao Lingjun believe that everything that had just happened was real.

* * *

The cabinet was too heavy, and the cat’s paws were too small.

Therefore, although the cabinet had moved with a push, the cat’s claws had also pierced it.

“If this cat were to claw someone, would anyone even be able to withstand it?”

Zhao Lingjun was scared witless at the two holes in the cabinet and asked the cat on his lap, “Will you always listen to me in the future?”

The cat nodded loveably.

Zhao Lingjun stared blankly at the cat on his lap and somehow had thought of the giant condor from The Return of the Condor Heroes.[2]

Because Yang Guo had that giant condor, he was thusly named the Condor Hero. Now that Zhao Lingjun had a cat which could move as quickly as the wind, and had a similar matchless strength, wouldn’t he then be called Immortal Cat Hero?

“That’s good.” Shaking himself out of a daydream so happy that he could die, Zhao Lingjun finally returned back to reality and told the cat. “Then it’s settled, in the future you will follow me. But since you’re following me, you obviously need a name. How about I give you one?”

*Meow* The cat nodded frantically, with a cheerful look.

“Why don’t I name you Wang Cai?” [3]

“…”

“Ah. You don’t like it? There’s no need to play dead if you don’t like it. Since you don’t like it then let’s change it. How about La Xi?”

“…”

“Oh? You still don’t like it? Looking at the cat on his lap which played dead when he had mentioned the names Wang Cai and La Xi, he laughed. “I didn’t think that your standards were so high. Even Wang Cai and La Xi were rejected by you. Then… how about Xiao Bai?”

“Meow…” The cat meowed in grief, and finally stopped playing dead.


[1] Chen Shimei – Chen Shimei is a byword in China for a heartless and unfaithful man (Taken directly from wikipedia). Click here to see the link. ↩
[2] The Return of the Condor Heroes – A really old Wuxia novel. An actual Wuxia novel. It is pretty famous and there have been drama adaptations of it. It’s also part of a trilogy. Click here to find out more. ↩
[3] Wang Cai & La Xi – Common boring names for pets. Wang Cai in Chinese means ‘making luck prosper’ and the second, La Xi is a transliteration of Lassie, an English name.
Xiao Bai – Little white if translated directly. The even less creative name. ↩


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  • Tajwar

    l’il white

  • haha, “little white” no wonder the cat stopped playing dead

    • FallenS0ul

      Hurrhurr

  • Nice chapter.